Living Brave...A Glimpse...My thoughts - Part One

Why do thoughts escape me every time I sit down to write a blog or even make a video. I have been wanting to blog and make videos but it is really weird how every time I go to do so I forget what it is I wanted to say or do. So today I am not going to try to pre-think about what I want to say I am just doing it.

The last few days have been a bit interesting. I have been on this quest of trying to decide what direction I want to take Shammah (our dance and art academy) I finally got a partial vision of that on yesterday...YAY! I constantly think about documenting the process of growing SDA or anything my husband and I are doing but (there is always a BUT) I guess I allow the process of the journey get in the way of me taking the time to just make a video or blog. My life seems to be evolving and I really don't want to miss anything, yet right now all I have is memory of this process.

Moving on....

I have recently adopted this new mentality of...I want my life to be poured out! I feel God has blessed me with many gifts and talents, ideas and desires, and want to be emptied of it all before my life is done.

It is my desire to multiply what God has given me. I was talking with Kevin (my husband) last night and I told him I feel like the man God gave 5 talents to and he doubled it and God gave him the 1 talent from the servant who buried his. But, here is my issue I feel like I am not really using the talents God has given me although there be many. Well, I am using them but I do not have a full picture of what I am supposed to do with all God has given me. There are so many things I want to do and I feel that I don't have time to do it all. Why am I in such a hurry? I don't know.

What comes to mind - and I am sure you can relate - is life never stops, the bills never stop, needs never stop, wants never stop, responsibilities never stop! I feel if I take the time to develop what I have other things won't get done. I mean how do you do it, how can you take time out to develop what is in you while maintaining a home, raising children, teaching children, building relationships, produce income to pay those MONTHLY obligations, build a business, throw in leisure time, sleep, and so on and so on. Life can become full!

It's like I try to make time to blog but even now this is a push because for one I am constantly being interrupted by children, feeling I have to start getting my self together for the day, I have work I need to do and even with that, although it's "work" I am not really getting paid (yet) and so on. See, that is my issue I am giving of myself daily and still feel the pressure of and the need for income. I mean really we have four children who have to eat, who need things, who should experience various things in life, on top of that, we have needs and have to pay, what we call our "monthly contributions" and so when I say we have to LIVE BRAVE it's real because my husband is not working a job right now which is fine considering a job is a false sense of security. He has a great call on his life and he needs the time to truly do what God has given him to do and that makes me happier than him just going to work and truly not feeling complete or fulfilled in what he is doing.

OK I can go on and on but this is actually allowing me to really put things in perspective. As I was writing that last paragraph I kept hearing within me all these different scriptures which I know was nothing but the Holy Spirit reminding me that FAITH is what all this boils down to. Me talking about all my daily responsibilities and how life never stops is making me look at this and really think, who is in control. All of this means nothing if I am not allowing God to be God allowing God to lead me beside still waters. I feel anxiety build up in me when I think of all the different things I have to do. And that my friend is not how God works in our life, in God's word it says be anxious for nothing, with God all things are possible, peace be still.

Every now and then (for me right now) I have to relax, relate, release. Everything will get done all is well and boy time has just flew by. It is almost 12pm, see that is what I mean. I literally just got finished eating breakfast, started doing some work on my website, checked Facebook, did some online banking stuff, and then started to blog. And now I have to go. More to follow this was only a glimpse. of LIVING BRAVE...Stay tuned...How Chic!